Friday, 5 August 2011

My late grandma

     I still remember,It was about a year ago when I was still in form 5.You was the only grandma that I had since I've lost my Chinese grandma few months before you passed away.You was such a loving grandma,you know how to cheer us with your silly jokes.I never knew that it was the last chance for us to celebrate our last Hari Raya with you,nek.You ate a lot of nasi impit,chicken curry,satay and lots of menu that my mom cooked for you.The red baju kurung suited you well.You looked so beautiful,years younger than your real age.I sat next to your seat,we ate together.We laughed so hard with my brother cause we learned how to speak in Suluk's language from you.It sounds weird cause we didn't know how to pronounce it well.

     I took a lot of pictures  together with you.It all ends happily after the Hari Raya.So i went back to Sandakan cause the big examination day was just around the corner.Suddenly my mom received a phone call from our aunty.She said grandma was in a bad condition.Grandma can't breathe well,she can't speak well.I was like "what the hell I'm not gonna believe this cause It's just couple of weeks ago she was in a great condition".My cousin said,doctor placed grandma to the female ward.Critically sick is the answer.

     We quickly packed our stuff,dad drove as fast as he can.As we arrived there,my heart was shattered to see her as she lay dying on the bed,calling our names one by one.Shines that always make her glowing faded away.She was totally weak.When I looked at the graphs , It was 50/50 to say that she could still stay or gone forever.It touched my heart when she tried to stop us to teach her to follow this "Asyaadualla ilahaillallah wa asyhaduanna muhammadarrasullullah..". She said , stop doing this,Allah already forgave me and He did accept me already.Tears ran down the cheeks...Sisters non stop reading the Yaasin,Ayat Kursi and stuff.We kissed her cheeks side to side,her forehead,her hands,we hugged tight.

    I bet you will never see a person who still remember your name,who still make some jokes and kiss you as she/he lays dying on the bed.But my grandma,she was a very strong women with a loving heart.The way she say goodbye to us is from her kisses,her smiles and her hugs.I don't know what I'm going to write actually cause words can't describe my feelings.I just miss her so much.She's the one that told us not to cry and wiped our tears.Don't you see how strong her heart is ? :'(

    She left us on that night,3am.Memories with you will never fade away,grandma.And grandma,Lord keep my memory green.I was there at the funeral.I cried,we cried too much to see you dressed with kain kafan..I still remember how sweet you smelled right after we bathed you with air sembilan.Your face shine bright although you wasn't good enough about our religion.You didn't pray five times a day but your kindness towards neighbors,friends,family and grandchildren makes Allah forgive you InsyaAllah.. I can feel something empty without you on this Ramadhan.. :( And you left us with your love,lasts forever.When there's no one dry your tears there,make my Al-fatihah do it for you ..

                             Everytime I miss you, I always give you my priceless present,Al Fatihah

                                                    Couple of months before she left us

                                                    That's her name on the board


                                                                    Its just near a lake

In memories of nek puan
Aminah binti Jalmani


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